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Dominating every aspect of life is not a simple
undertaking. Events must be
meticulously orchestrated such that all possible
outcomes fall in line with the master plan.
Realizing such an end requires the cooperation of
scores of individuals and civic, business, and
religious leaders. Working together, NebCorp
operatives (right) fabricate the
of reality that you, the consumer, has
come to fear in your loathesome existance.
A Sampler of Benefits
Ruling the world is not entirely about
yoke of oppression and corporate overlords.
You, the faithful NebCorp consumer, are entitled
to a multitude of benefits. These benefits are
provided for your convenience to
help you forget about being dominated and,
instead, to think far prettier thoughts.
In fact, most of the time, you are unaware that
NebCorp is applying these benefits to your
daily life. Utilizing our reconnaisance networks,
we are able to monitor your life. Where we feel
it will facilitate our Master Plan, we alter
your life to conform to our standards and our
precisely-engineered tolerances. Best of all, from
your point of view, we undertake such actions
transparently for your benefit!
|NebCorp believes that a healthy
stable social structure; such a structure
lays the foundation for the construction of a
believable facade of reality. Additionally,
the resultant quality
of life gaurantees a long span of time
during which NebCorp may beat
an individual down in the most cost-effective
manner. As a result, the maximum amount of
productivity is extracted from any given individual
unit. This is simply good economics.
To maintain such a state, therapeutic emporia are
open to all members of the public and allow for
a community healing environment. Those who
need individual attention may seek admittance into
our large network of specialized institutions.
For everyone's safety, such individuals are usually
not heard from for at least a number of years
while aggressive healing remedies are pursued.
|NebCorp realizes that effective management and clean-up
of emergencies is paramount in order to keep the world
functioning properly and without loss. Emergency
situations, therefore, must be dealt with in a timely
Our specialized crews of emergency response
teams are prepared for any situation that may arise. Constant
training at state - of - the - art facilities gaurantees
that Emergency NebCorp Workers may handle all emergencies.
Our teams can be deployed at a moment's notice, regardless of
terrain, weather, or the position of the sun with respect to
the zodiac. In fact, our crews are so efficient in carrying
out their monumental tasks that few people even take notice of their
Additionally, in all emergency response situations, NebCorp
exercises overt media control. Such precaution is
necessary to prevent the induction of panic into the general
populace. Rogue media personalities, then, are dealt with
accordingly: for example, they may be used as fill to plug
Rest assured that, in any kind of emergency whatsoever, NebCorp
is omnipresent to protect your quality of life!
24 Hour Roadside Assistance
NebCorp maintains a thoroughly modern
fleet of repair vehicles to assist motorists. Be
it a flat tire, overheated engine, or an
annoying child in the backseat that you would like
silenced, NebCorp's roadside gaurdians are available
to help 24 hours a day year-round.
If you have ever found yourself travelling down the
road and noticed a strange vehicle seeming to follow
you, do not be alarmed! It was, more than likely,
a NebCorp Service Worker scanning your vehicle remotely
because she or he received a distress call from your own
automobile. In approximately 9 out of every 11 cases,
repairs have been remotely performed on your vehicle by
one of these Service Workers.
Additionally, if you have ever found yourself driving long
distances and noticed that you seemed to "skip time"
or if you have wondered where those last 10 minutes have
gone, again do not be alarmed! This phenomenon is the result
of NebCorp Workers opening Time Gates which, conceptually,
resemble rifts -- commonly referred to as worm holes --
in time-space. These Time Gates are operated for the benefit
of distance and over-the-road drivers in order to expedite the
delivery of goods.
Similarily, should you ever feel as though you have "lost
time" you can be assured that this was the result of Time
Gates working in reverse. As NebCorp strives to work within the
laws of physics as much as possible, we need to conserve the
overall quantity of time by releasing it in other geographic
locations. We apologize for the inconvenience.
Your Morning Coffee
Every morning, much of the world wakes up with a cup
of fresh coffee. That arousing aroma combined with
the fresh, mountain-grown taste -- not
to mention the chemical jolt of caffeine --
charges one's mind and fires the neural synapses of
one's body. NebCorp nutritional scientists have spent
decades perfecting a multitude of strong, rich blends.
And what goes better with your fresh cup of coffee
than a wholesome chunk of Halvah? That delicious
combination of crushed sesame seeds, petroleum
products, copper, and tungsten
really gets you going in the morning!
I Want to
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Today's world is full of
difficult choices, moral quandries, and
ethical dilemmas. Why not extract your
brain and leave the thinking to us?
After all, NebCorp scientists, actuaries,
and nutritionists have already determined
what is best for you, the consumer. Furthermore,
donating your brain -- as well as other
vital bodily organs -- to science can have numerous
beneficial effects for future generations. With
a large supply of brains and other bodily organs,
the research possibilities, and thus grand
discoveries, are endless.
Over millenia, evolution has seen to the
eradication of no-longer-used, or vestigial
organs and body parts. At NebCorp, we have
sped up the process. So, please, do your part.
Reduce! Reuse! Recycle!